george carlin government doesn't care about you

And there's no shortage of volunteers; everyone complains about politicians. Name six ways we're better than chickens See, nobody can do it! What would you call a lady's man, a "person's person"? Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. I believe the list of ten commandments was artificially and deliberately inflated to get it up to ten. If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor. From a distance so I can see it all. Because they got a letter from a minister in Mississippi! That's all the media and the politicians are ever talking aboutthe things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. These people call themselves "right to lifers." Seems like a big waste of time to me! Pointless careerism, putting on a man tailored suit and shoulder pads and imitating all the worst behavior of men? There's such balance in nature. Bullshit is everywhere. So, basically, what these anti-abortion people are telling us is that any woman who has had more than one period is a serial killer! People don't believe that! I'd like to begin by saying fuck Lance Armstrong. I love the freedoms we used to have. If you burn the flag, youre burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? I believe the government should step in where the free market fails. I like to find out where the line might be and then cross it deliberately, and then make the audience happy about crossing the line with me. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. Shit, white people ought to understand their job is to give people the blues, not to get them and certainly not to sing or play them. Guys who wear the same underwear until it begins to cut off the circulation to their feet. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. George Carlin on God "The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. Author of the memoir The Young People Who Traverse Dimensions While Wearing Sunglasses. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? Sort of take them in? ", "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. See, the really hardcore people will tell you life begins at fertilization. Well, Reverend, did anyone ever tell you there are two KNOBS on the radio? Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They Own You' But they take it too far, they take themselves too seriously, they exaggerate. First thing- "Hey! "Pre-existing", "pre-planning", "pre-screening" you know what I tell these people? I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. It's our differences. But hey, reverend, there are two knobs on the radio! A Boy Scout master who owns a dildo shop. Well he was an honest guy ya know, he wasn't gonna bullshit a 4-year-old. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. The Official Home of George Carlin- georgecarlin.com And if they tell you youre not a team player, congratulate them on being observant. It creates a hostile work environment. 1. ", In 2001, the official George Carlin website explicitly stated that the list including all of these lines was not the work of Carlin. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. George Carlin Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. 25. At least he's honest about being, Everybody knows by now, all businessmen are completely full of shit; just the worst kind of low-life, criminal, cocksuckers you could ever wanna' run into a fuckin' piece of shit businessman. Everywhere you go now, there's some dick, some yo-yo, some putz with a camcorder, and he is going to tapeEVERYTHING! You know what they want? One of them turns the radio OFF, and the other one. ""I don't think we should be governing ourselves. But he can't say, "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony, don't you?". Yeah, the public sucks. Im an acrostic: the whole thing puzzles me. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. The Zen Teachings of George Carlin, a Comedian Who Pointed the Way Judd Apatow and Michael Bonfiglio's new HBO documentary "George Carlin's American Dream" takes viewers on a tour through. Is this the noblest thing that women can think of? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: ash98jha@gmai.com #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. Just like homeless people. He is the victim of an accident. I can't wait for some of these cities to disappear. Sooner or later, the people in this country are gonna realize the government does not give a fuck about them! In prisons, before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol! It's a subconscious need to project the penis into other people's affairs. And just dumb enough to passively accept it., The government doesnt lie, it engages in disinformation., Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let the government and industry poison me a little bit every day., Government wants to control information and control language because thats the way you control thought, and basically thats the game theyre in., Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation., I believe the government should step in where the free market fails., Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them., A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does.. Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. It's a simple philosophy, but it's always worked in our family. You know how we got it? By gyokusai August 29, 2010. creed of reason. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, 17. They will do anything for the unborn. But the Government Said I Have Rights | The Anarchist Library That's all it is. And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. Thats our history. They dont want to hear from you. I think that speaks for itself. They'll get it. It's true! In civilian life you go to jail for giving someone an orgasm! Any lawyer who refers to the police as the "Federalies." [] I look at war a little bit differently. In many ways, the comedian has the ability to be the philosopher of our era, a social critic and theorist whose words have the ability to shape public thought. I welcome it. And complaining about the politicians. its only a symbol. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this fuckin' place. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Has been for thousands of years! Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. It's ridiculous and it goes to ridiculous lengths! You have no choice. But no, Dorko in the plaid knickers is gonna hit it again, and walk some more. A crazy person will beat nine people to death with a steel dildo, but he'll be wearing a Bugs Bunny suit at the time. 6. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. He died in 2008, the week after he had been named the recipient of the Mark Twain Prize . It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. But it can't happen, "I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. That is against their interests. Everybodys going to save something now. I love that. He'd say, "I'm goin' upstairs and fuck your grandmother." Keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. Continue with Recommended Cookies. This is what we have to offer. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up. George Carlin, 64. So at best the sanctity of life is kind of a selective thing. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, 6. George Carlin. Produced by Will Reid and Michael Simon Johnson. Rights aren't rights if someone can take them away. We won the big game today, yes sir!" Bomb them!" As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. You have owners. The mayfly lives only one day. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. George Carlin, 34. But once you're born, you're on your own. If my car should be in such a position where I can't quite see what's going on, can't get a good enough look, I'm not the. That's what's happening, and I can't wait for the sea levels to rise. Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view. And he's gotta do it with a big. Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day. ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. But limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money. George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, singer, voice artist, and comedian, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on politics, language, psychology, and religion, as well as some taboo subjects. Two to a customer, each item sold separately, batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final, allow six weeks for delivery. There is actually a semi-important figure in American history who is named for a blow-job movie. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. It's interested in it's own power. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Because you have the illusion of choice. ", I used to be Irish Catholic; Now I'm an American. Plus he knocked up your daughter. We are the embarrassed parents of a cross-eyed little nit-wit who at the age of ten not only continues to wet the bed but also shits on the school bus.. Nothing left. You rarely see a bumper sticker that says 'Save the tumors'. This is an outmoded idea. "I just got here, man, you kiddin' me?" After that, they dont want to know about you. Nothing sacred about those things. You rarely see a bumper sticker that says: Save the tumors. Or I brake for advanced melanoma. No, viruses, mold, mildew, maggots, fungus, weeds, E. Coli bacteria, the crabs. I decided to look around for something else to worship. George Carlin : It's the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving a problem; it's called declaring a war. One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is "libertarian". Because Im an American and I expect a little cancer in my food and water. The poor are just there just to scare the shit out of the middle class. What a fucking disgrace that place is! Everybodys going to save something now. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. That's generally been true. Laugh often, long and loud. Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Christians; all taking turns killing each other because God told 'em it was a good idea. I never fucked a 10, but one night I fucked 5 twos! (12), We're not satisfied with forcing Russia to destroy its nuclear weapons and recant its ideology. I gave up on this stuff. You know what the motto of this country ought to be? Zach Urban on Twitter: "RT @WideAwake444: Government doesn't care about George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes We have a daughter in public school who hasn't been knocked up yet. Let me know in the comments below and please share this post. You see all, sooner or later.

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